Mary Sue Must Die
by Kacella
Summary: The normal cliché: A beautiful, blond knockout-American exchange student... but in this parody MARY SUE MUST DIE!!! Okay, please let this have been said: The moral is kinda screwed up, so don't read it if you're not big in the self-esteem department. Aga


Mary Sue Must Die  
  
By Kacella  
  
Michaela stood in front of Hogwarts, her eyes glazed over with tears as they witnessed the magnificent beauty of the grand old castle. Hogwarts, the name already sounded like home.   
Michaela was an American exchange student, she had come to Hogwarts to get to know her grandfather, Professor Dumbledore. She sighed again and continued to stare at the castle, her silky blond hair flew in the wind around her face, the moisture caused by the tears bringing out her purple/blue eyes. She began walking to the castle, her willowy models' body almost in a jog, finally, she got to the huge doors, and stepped in.   
I hope I have tons of friends and everybody loves me like they did in my old school she thought, her beautiful features in a frown.  
  
She looked around, wow, she thought, this place is beautiful! I love everybody already! I wish I could just hug-  
  
BOOM!  
  
Michaela was knocked unconsious, the figure stepped out from behind the shadows and pushed her thick glasses back up, they had begun to slide down the bridge of her nose. Her plump body wobbled out of the darkness, a club still in her chubby hand. Her greasy brown hair hung limply around her face, framing her brown eyes and monobrow.  
  
"Thanks for leaving me behind, bitch," said the plump girl, Ingrid.  
  
Michaela lay on the floor, the blood that was seeping out of the wound on her head turning her hair crimson. Nonetheless, Ingrid took the girl by the hair, and proceeded to drag her deeper and deeper down into the dungeons.  
Half an hour later she stepped into a dungeon that had, from the looks of it, been deserted for hundreds of years. She lit an old torch there for light.  
After finishing chaining the girl to the wall, Ingrid watched as Michaela came back to her senses. With a teletubby smile she stared at Ingrid, dazed.  
  
"Hello, friend, where are we?"  
  
"I knocked you out, taking you to these dungeons where nobody will ever find you. Mwahahahaha!"  
  
"Awwww, how nice of you!  
  
"Stupid bitch! Don't you understand? I knocked you out. I am taking advantage of this opportunity to take your body, leaving you with mine! Mwahahahaha!"  
  
"I love your laugh, it's like silver bells!"  
  
" Don't. You. Get. It? I am stealing your body."  
  
"Sharing is fun!"  
  
Ingrid couldn't take it anymore, with a sigh, she lifted her cane, and knocked the blond out. She felt kind of bad about doing it a second time, not because of pity, no, but because she felt bad about her loosing any more brain cells. Plus, this would soon be her body.  
Making sure the other girl was unconsious, Ingrid then undid the chains that bound her to the wall. She then closed her own eyes and concentrated deeply. Ingrid rocked back and forth, in trance, then, in barely a whisper, she started to chant. The words melted together... and then, with a shock, her eyes fluttered open. She felt... different, light...  
  
She was Michaela.  
  
Ingrid/Michaela now stood up, her head pounded but the pain was quickly fading. Her vision was slightly blurry due to the bump on her head. She stared down at her body. It appeared to be sleeping on the cold dungeon floor. Its breast rose slowly.  
Ingrid decided not to wake Michaela up... even though she would loooove to see her face...  
  
Nah, it wasn't worth the risk.   
  
She hurried up the stairs, her head throbbing with pain. As she got to the entrance hall, she looked around, not knowing where to go. She supposed she should first go to the bathroom, seeing as blood was crusted in her hair and forehead. Going through the hall to the left of her, she had luck and quickly found a bathroom. Washing her hair out, she studied her reflection. She was so beautiful, and now this body was hers, all her own.  
Running all over the castle, she then finally found the Great Hall, where many children sat, talking and laughing. Older people, teachers she guessed, also sat at one of the tables. Then, amongst the people, sat a very old man with a huge, ugly, crooked, nose.  
  
Albus Dumbledore.  
  
"Grandfather!" she exclaimed, faking her happiness and trying to look as dense as Michael.  
  
"Michaela! Where were you? You and the other new girl... Ingrid was here name I believe, weren't to be found. What took you? Where is the other girl? The Canadian?"  
  
"She... she's in the bathroom."  
  
"You would probably like to eat now. Oh...Would you like to be sorted now, or wait on her?"  
  
"Of course, Granddad, now! I was so excited about the sorting the whole entire trip," honey practically dripping from each syllable.  
  
She was handed a hat by an older woman with a tight bun. She supposed Dumbledore had made an announcement concerning her earlier, for all the students were now paying attention. She place the old ugly hat on her head, before she was even able to think, the hat shouted "SLYTHERIN".  
She smiled, having heard of the house. The old man studied her intently for a moment and then excused her, allowing her to go to the Slytherin table, where she quickly found many friends.  
As she was chatting with a good looking blond boy, she was interrupted by screams, the screams drew nearer. A brown haired girl came running in, she was the cause of the screaming.  
The hall was now very silent, all eyes were on the chubby screaming brown haired girl.  
  
"GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! This isn't me, this isn't my body!" She ran up to Dumbledore, wrapping her arms around his body. "Please get me out." She wailed on his shoulder, her body shook with sobs.  
Dumbledore placed the girl gently aside, and then said, "Ingrid, dear, come to my office."  
  
All eyes were on the pair as they exited the hall. When they were out, everybody broke out talking and laughing.   
  
Yet Ingrid was nervous. She plastered a smile on her face, pretending to laugh, yet she was nervous.   
  
She knew that Michaela had never seen her grandfather, she had practically told her all the details of her life during their long, looong journey. Yet he was one of the best wizards of the century, could he see through the facade?  
At that moment, interrupting her thoughts, men in white suits came through the entrance door of the Great Hall, on their suit, stood, St. Mungo's Hospital, Department for the Insane. One of the men walked up to McGonagal, the woman with the bun, asking where Dumbledore was. A few minutes later he came back. Ingrid recognized her old body in the strait jacket, the eyes that once belonged to her now stared of into the distance.   
Looking hard enough, Ingrid could see the love of life that once animated Michaela's features deep in her old eyes.   
  
Then, along with some of the other Slyhterins, including the blond boy, she began to snicker uncontrollably. The snickers of the table quickly turned into venomous laughs.   
She pretended to wave the chubby brunette good-bye as she left the hall in the arms of the men in white suits. This made the Slytherins laugh harder.  
As Dumbledore came to her she put on a serious demeanor, he patted her back, sadly.   
  
"Don't be sad Grandpa, you couldn't do anything for her, I spoke with her on the train, I think she has a lot of problems."  
  
Dumbledore smiled weekly at her and nodded.  
  
Ingrid had won.  
  
  
The End.  
  
  
  
The Moral of this story is that the beautiful people always win. This goes in all cases. When it comes to beauty there is no justice. Sorry, that inner beauty crap is just something ugly people say. You can be as sweet as you like, but unless you have pearly white teeth, it ain't gonna help much.   
  
JUST KIDDING!  
  
The moral of this story is, you should never allow yourself to be knocked unconsious and dragged off into dark dungeons.   
  
Isn't this story rather depressing? I suggest reading a true Mary-Sue now, for example the Eliza Series, to make up for the heartbreak I have caused.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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